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  First Instinct

  A Northstar Novel

  Suzie O'Connell

  Copyright © 2014 by Suzie O'Connell

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Books by Suzie O'Connell

  NORTHSTAR

  First Instinct

  Mountain Angel

  Summer Angel

  Twice Shy

  Once Burned

  Mistletoe Kisses

  Starlight Magic

  Wild Angel

  Forgotten Angel

  Last Surrender

  TWO-LANE WYOMING

  The Road to Garrett

  SEA GLASS COVE

  (Written as Maren Ferguson)

  The Abalone Shell

  The Driftwood Promise

  To the fans who asked for Nick and Beth’s story, this one’s for you.

  A Note from the Author

  Howdy! Suzie here. I have just a quick note on this book to get out of the way before you dive into Nick and Beth’s story—a bit of a trigger warning.

  First Instinct’s story revolves around a date rape. While I have tried to handle the matter as tactfully as the subject matter can be handled, there are a few scenes that may still be too difficult for some readers, particularly those readers who have survived sexual assault. If you think you might fall into this category of reader, when you get to the scene break after the first scene of Chapter 2 (denoted by * * *), skip ahead to the beginning of Chapter 4.

  Too often, real-life does not offer justice for the victims and fair punishment for the perpetrators in cases of rape and sexual assault, but rest assured, this story does see our heroine Beth get her happy ending.

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Epilogue

  Sneak Peek of “Mountain Angel”

  About the Author

  One

  “Do we have to talk about this right now?”

  Nick turned his key and unlocked the door of his dorm room, pushing the door open with his foot. He stepped through it into a short hallway. On the right was his living room, straight ahead was his bedroom, and to his left was his favorite feature of the suite, a full bathroom.

  Beth followed him inside without invitation, undeterred when he stripped out of his grimy T-shirt and reached around her to toss it into the laundry hamper in the bathroom.

  “What’s wrong with now?” she asked.

  “I just got out of football practice. I’m tired and sweaty, and all I want right now is a long, hot shower.”

  “I’m beginning to think you’re avoiding me.”

  She waited in the hallway, leaning against the wall and watching him, while he walked into his bedroom to pick out clean clothes for his dinner date with Michelle. She wasn’t going to let him out of this conversation this time.

  He selected a pair of his newer blue jeans, a crisp white T-shirt, and one of his nicer blue-and-white plaid button-up shirts because, as soon as he was clean, he was taking Michelle out to dinner at the Whiskey Creek Grill. He set his clothes on top of his dresser and brushed past Beth on his way into the living room. Sitting on the couch, he pulled off his shoes and socks, and finally replied, “I’m not avoiding you at all.”

  She sat on the arm of the couch beside him. “Then you’re avoiding Trey. Why?”

  “Because playing on the same team with him means I already spend more time with him than I want to.”

  “You two have played football and wrestled on the same teams for going on eight years now, and you used to be friends. I think you can manage a couple extra hours with him.”

  ‘Used to be’ being the key words. He didn’t say it. “I’m sorry. He’s your boyfriend, and I shouldn’t be putting you in the middle.”

  “You’re not, but all I’m asking for is one double date so I can actually get to know Michelle. Come on, Nick. You’ve been dating her for almost five months, and the longest conversation I’ve had with her lasted less than a minute. I want to make sure she’s good enough for you.”

  “I wouldn’t still be going out with her if she wasn’t.”

  “You don’t get to decide whether a girl is worthy of you. That’s your best friend’s job—my job. Besides, she’s a big part of your life, and anything or anyone who is that important to you is important to me, too.”

  Nope. There’s no getting out of it this time. Nick sat back and rested his head on the back of the couch, closing his eyes. “Have you even asked Trey about this?”

  “He said whenever was fine with him.”

  Sighing, he tilted his face fully toward her and immediately wished he hadn’t. With shimmering blonde hair that fell nearly to her waist, the sweetly beautiful face of the girl next door, a petite build, and those wide, hopeful blue eyes, Beth Carlyle exuded an innate innocence. However, he knew well that her outwardly guileless demeanor masked a stubborn strength. She wouldn’t have been able to hold her ground against Trey’s charismatic persistence for nearly a year now without it, and Nick had laughed quietly to himself on numerous occasions as he’d watched her remind her boyfriend where her boundaries were. Everything about her made her impossible to resist, and he knew he wasn’t going to have any more luck saying no to her now than he’d had at any other point in their lifelong friendship.

  “Though she is but little, she is fierce,” he quoted under his breath. More loudly, he added, “I almost feel sorry for the man you marry because he’s not going to stand a chance of telling you no.”

  “Does that mean you’ll do it?” she asked brightly.

  “No, that means I’ll ask Michelle about it again. I was planning to take her out for dinner tonight at the Whiskey Creek Grill, so she should be here any time.”

  “How about tonight, then? You’re already going out, and Trey and I were planning to do the same….”

  “That wasn’t a yes, Beth.”

  “It wasn’t a no, either.”

  “I will talk to her about it as soon as she gets here,” he said slowly, letting each word sink in. “Will that suffice for now?”

  “Talk to me about what?”

  Nick glanced over his shoulder to see his girlfriend striding through his open front door, and his shoulders drooped in defeat. She flashed a smile at Beth as she leaned in the doorway of the living room with her brows raised in inquiry. With Beth still here, there was no chance he would be able to talk to Michelle privately or ask her if he could use her as an excuse to get out of a double date. As soon as that thought crossed his mind, he winced. It bothered him that he was shunning time with his best friend because he disliked her boyfriend.

  “I was hoping you and Nick would join Trey and me for dinner tonight.”

  Michelle glanced at him and shrugged. “We’re going out, anyhow. Why not?”

  Beth turned a grin on Nick. “I should have gone straight to the brains of the operation to begin wit
h.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Well, there you go. What time and where?”

  “The Whiskey Creek Grill is good. Is six-thirty too soon?”

  “That only gives me forty-five minutes to get showered and dressed, but that’s fine.”

  “I’m sure you’ll still be ready before Trey,” Beth quipped. “See you in a bit.”

  “Yep.”

  With his elbows braced on his knees, Nick scrubbed his hands through his hair, then gazed up at Michelle. Physically, she was nearly Beth’s opposite with dark, chin-length hair, green eyes, and a long-limbed, athletic body, but she possessed many of his best friend’s finer qualities, such as a keen intelligence, a selfless loyalty, and a subtle confidence he found enticing. His hesitation to join Beth and Trey on a double date had absolutely nothing to do with concern that Beth would not approve of Michelle. In fact, he was certain they’d get along quite well. It was all Trey. He scowled, trying to pinpoint exactly when he and his teammate had treaded far enough along their separate paths that they could no longer see eye to eye. It had worsened significantly after Trey’s twenty-first birthday back in May, but Nick knew the separation had begun much earlier.

  Shaking his head, he pushed to his feet, gave Michelle a quick peck on the lips, and ducked into his bathroom. “I’ll be quick.”

  “Take your time,” she replied distractedly, studying the pictures on his wall.

  He leaned out of the bathroom and sniffed fondly when he saw what image had captured her attention. It was the one in the center of his collage, and the gentle smile that curved her lips was as dear to him as the memory captured by the photograph.

  “This is you and Beth on top of the haystack, isn’t it?” Michelle asked without taking her eyes off it. “How old were you?”

  “We were eight, and that was our first time helping stack hay. It’s a bit of a right of passage in Northstar to help on a hay crew.” His lips curved. “We worked our butts off and loved every minute of it.”

  “I can see that. I know ranch life is a lot of work, but it seems like a great life to have.”

  “I’ve never wanted anything else.”

  “After spending a little time out on your ranch this summer, I can certainly see why.” She turned to him, and her wistful smile turned into one of amusement as she wrinkled her nose. “Go take your shower… because you stink.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  Laughing, he closed the door and turned on the shower. The hot water did a lot to wash away his concerns along with the grime, and for several minutes after he was clean, he stood with his hands braced against the shower wall and let the water pour over him. Hearing the bathroom door open, he lifted his head and watched Michelle’s silhouette through the frosted plastic shower curtain. She leaned against the sink with her face turned toward him, and while he couldn’t make out the features of her face, he sensed her frowning. She said nothing until he turned the water off, and when he peered around the curtain, she held a towel out for him. He wrapped it securely around his waist before stepping out of the shower.

  “I get the feeling you don’t want to go out with Beth and Trey tonight,” she finally remarked. “If it’s that big a pain, wouldn’t it be better to just get it over with?”

  “Not particularly, no.”

  “Why? Are you afraid Beth won’t like me?”

  “Absolutely not. I know she’ll love you.”

  “Then why have you put it off for three months? Because the first time she asked was back at the end of May. I couldn’t do it then because I was so busy with work and my May interim classes, but you have been avoiding it ever since. And that’s not like you.”

  “No, it’s not,” he agreed. “And believe me, it doesn’t feel real great that I’m doing this to Beth.”

  “What’s the problem?”

  Nick eyed Michelle, wondering if he could accurately express the troubling sense of loss that had begun to fester over the past few months. “We’ve been best friends all our lives, and I never thought much about how that might change as we grew up, started dating, and started our own families. I’ve always assumed, I guess, that it wouldn’t ever change. But lately… I have this nagging worry that we’re beginning to slip apart.”

  “When you say it like that, it seems to me that a double date would be a good thing, not something to be avoided.”

  “It’s not us—not Beth and me. It’s her boyfriend.”

  “Trey Holt? Maybe he’s a little arrogant, but otherwise, he seems like a decent guy. Besides, he’s a friend of yours, right? So he can’t be that bad.”

  “Yeah…. Not much of a friend anymore.”

  Nick shrugged, hoping she’d get the message and let the matter drop. The last thing he wanted to do was go into a long explanation about Trey, especially since it looked like he’d be spending most of the evening with him. As if she sensed his distress, Michelle pinned him against the wall when he tried to walk past her and threaded herself around him. The way she kissed him drove his worries from his mind, leaving room for little else but a thought that, right then, he really wished he’d pushed dinner back a while.

  “Rain check?” he asked, thinking she was far too sexy in that fitted black dress.

  “What?”

  Her breathless response made him smile, so he dove after her neck, and she let out a squeal that quickly tumbled into laughter.

  “I don’t have time to properly indulge you,” he reminded her. “We have less than thirty minutes now until we’re supposed to head out.”

  “I guess you’re right. Hey, can I ask a favor?”

  “Sure.”

  “I know you have that paper to write, but after dinner, can we all go down to the Club Bar? They have a live band playing tonight, and I’d really like to go dancing, even if we only go for a little bit.”

  “Anything you want, sweetie. But can I get dressed now? Unless you want me to strut into the Whiskey Creek Grill in just my towel.”

  Laughing again, she stepped back and gave him a playful shove as he headed into his room. “I never knew you were such an exhibitionist.”

  “This from the girl who persuaded me into bed that first time by answering her door naked when I came over to study for an exam.”

  “What can I say? You have a very sexy body, and I wanted you.” She leaned against his back and slipped her hands around his ribs, sliding them in a most distracting, tantalizing way down his stomach and tortuously southward. “Every… single… inch… of you.”

  “Knock that off,” Nick muttered. He pulled her hands away even as goose bumps rose over his skin. “Or we’ll be late.”

  “I’m all right with that.”

  “Sure you are. Right until Beth and Trey walk up here to find out what’s taking us so long.”

  “Mmm. You have a point. And while it’s tempting to let you go out in your towel, I’d rather not spend my evening beating the other girls off you.”

  “You do know that my ego is just fine and doesn’t need a boost, right?”

  “I do. But I like making you blush because you’re so damned cute when you do.”

  “So much for stroking my ego,” he murmured fondly.

  “Yeah, but like you said, you don’t need it. Get dressed before I decide I don’t care if your friend and her boyfriend walk in on us.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Beth changed out of her faded blue jeans and V-neck T-shirt into her favorite turquoise sundress, and headed across campus to make sure Trey was dressed and getting ready before she finished her own preparations. She trotted over the smooth, sun-warmed concrete path from Mathews Hall to the JDC dorm complex and didn’t slow to a walk until she was halfway up the ramp to the main floor of the central Davis Hall, which housed the Student Life Office and mailboxes for all five of the small university’s residence halls. She smiled at Rob Harris, the Dean of Students, as she stepped through the door he held open for her.

  “Thanks, Rob,” she greeted. “What’re you doing here
this late?”

  “Catching up on some paperwork while my girls are shopping in Butte. How about you? Any fun plans tonight?”

  “Yes, actually. I finally convinced Nick to give me the opportunity to get to know his girlfriend.”

  “About time. Have fun, but go easy on Michelle.”

  Beth grinned. “I’ll try, but I’m not going to make any promises. You have a good night, too.”

  She bounded up the staircase directly to the right of the main doors to the second floor. Trey’s hall, Jordan, was connected to Davis at an obtuse angle and opened directly across from the top of the stairs. Its doors were propped open, and through them, Beth spotted Trey just leaving the communal bathroom with a towel around his waist and his shower caddy in hand. He didn’t see her, and she didn’t call his name. She’d wait until he was dressed before she knocked on his door and save herself the embarrassment of his nudity and him the aggravation over her lack of interest in what he had to offer.

  While she waited, she studied the cinderblock walls with their canvas-colored paint that was a few shades too dark to be paired with the dark blue, commercial carpet. Other than the trim around the doors—navy blue for Jordan, burgundy for Davis, and hunter green for Centennial—the three halls that comprised the JDC complex differed very little from each other, and Beth had found herself disoriented more than once. She was glad she lived in Mathews Hall. With its white plaster walls, tan carpeting, and turn-of-the-century high ceilings, it was much brighter and more open and didn’t remind her of a prison. It was a charming building with unique characteristics that further aided her sense of being part of something old and lasting.